another thought about you... (who are you?)

starting at this very moment, i will be very busy! i won't be able to see you until Thursday of next week, and will not see him for a month, or will i ever see him again? i always hope that maybe i would see him walking in the hallways of our school or maybe I'll see him pass by the park while I'm there sitting while seeing him pass by me... hoping that he will notice me... thinking of him made me very occupied this past few weeks... it's not like i love him... its just the thought that the more you seldom see him, the more you want to find him... it's like having this ultimate crush when you we're in high school... i just wish i wouldn't find out that he has a girlfriend... it would really make me disappointed... oh no! here i go again talking about him all over again... its like an obsession talking about him... even though i don't know anything to begin with.. i got to stop this! but i cant! its like, the more i talk about him,the more i want to know him... well... first i have to know his name! maybe he will remain as one of my fantasies... hmm... i got to go! i'm soooo hungry!


*aurevoir*

to mr.austria78...

why do we always have to feel empty when really you have something there inside of you?
i'm starting to think that there's something wrong with me. i don't know what it is but i really want to find out why i feel this way.
one question always pops into my head:
"what do guys really think of me?"
like when i saw a really cute guy, i think that they can't see me, that i don't exist... but when i saw a... well... an ordinary guy they would notice me. but why is it hard to get a really cute guy to notice a girl like me? am i ugly for them? am i intimidating? or am i just a face in a crowd? a plain-jane perhaps. why is it when a tall, thin, white and angel-looking girl always gets noticed. why not a tall, morena and mataray-looking one... that seems intresting... that's really mysterious in a way... unpredictable i might say... guys just don't think like us girls. they get attracted physically and when they get to know the girl, they still disregard their personality even though the girl is so lame. why? because girls with strong personalities make them less of a man? NEWS FLASH: nuh-uh! girls like us with a really astounding personalities can reallly love more the way naive girls do. its just that we don't let men control our lives. we don't let men abuse of what we have and what we can give.
i just don't get the point why a good-looking girl and a good-looking guy is a match made in heaven! why specifically are they match? because they're both physically attractive?! and? nothing right? or perhaps there is but what?
i'm not saying this stuff because i'm ugly or something its just that i'm not noticeable. or am i? sometimes i just want to give a survey to boys and tell me what do they think about me? how do they find me? its just kinda depressing for me. but now, i'm happy but not really contented. i just hope someone could make me feel better...